Even vacations seem to get harder every year. The pattern is either (a) just as I approach the vacation dates, I get ill and spend the vacation under the weather; or (b) a pattern of euphoria, dismay at spousal and offsprings' demands, the personal Block that works to keep me inert, frustration boils, rage bubbles - though seen to be irrational and counter-productive, a calming down, acceptance, a few tasks done, some time wasted utterly, some time spent pleasantly. After that, it's back to work and I'm all charged up and feeling energetic - bleh - for about four hours, and then the normal inhibitions or distractions get to work on me.....
When I was young and my testosterone was up, I was tied in knots; now that some of these are untangled, I'm slower and less moved to ... move. Deng ni-gaw fai!
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A Ghostly World in Collision with Yours
- Old Mr. Still Struggling with Ceaseless Chaos
- City: Let's call it "Fingiswold"...., California Franciscensis, United States
I only wish I could, like Beowulf, say:
"Hwæt! þu worn fela, | wine min Unferð,
beore druncen | ymb Brecan spræce,
sægdest from his siðe. | Soð ic talige,
þæt ic merestrengo | maran ahte,
earfeþo on yþum, | ðonne ænig oþer man."
"Ah, you've said quite a bit, my dear Unferth,
drunken with your beer, about Breca,
and laid out his triumph! But I say sooth,
that I owned much more sea-strength,
suffering the waves, than any other man!"
Yet I cannot!
Perhaps, like Epictetus, I may say, of the world and its evils,
"What is that to me? Is it within my control or a matter outside of it? If it is not within my control - and the only thing that is within my control IS my Will - then I shall not fret over it at all, but accept it and apply myself to it as best I may."
For the truth is - these evils are normal, they are natural, they are not (in the end) evil at all, just - consequent; and matters of indifference.
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